A lot has happened since I last wrote.  I have been journaling a ton privately, but I thought it might be nice to get back into posting some thoughts on this site as well.  This has been my motto since you last heard from me:

“Authentic prayer seeks to make God’s will our will—and being ready and willing to make the necessary transformations in our everyday life to make our prayers a reality. ”

I really took the bull by the horns in the past year and a half.  Here are some major things that have changed since march of 2009:

1. I quit the job that was slowly devouring my soul in an effort to find out what I really want.

2. I began dating the man of my dreams.  No, wait, actually he’s nothing like the “man of my dreams.”  He’s better.  He’s something I didn’t allow myself to imagine I could have.

3. I did the OperaWorks Advanced Artist program in Los Angeles in the summer of 2009, and it changed my life.  It was the first time I experienced the glory of the west coast, the first time I truly felt what it was like to be open and radiant in my own body, the first time I danced in front of a crowd without wanting to hang myself, and the impetus for deciding that I truly want to be a singer.

4.  I returned from California and become fully self-employed as a voice teacher.  I now have 28 students and am happily successful a year later.

5. I went to Guatemala on a mission trip, and it has been a constant reminder to be content and grateful for the many blessings I take for granted in my every day life.  From the people I met there, I learned that love and service to God and neighbor is the most important thing, and that joy can be found in that alone, if we let it.

6.  I am learning that my own insight and experiences are shaping my view of the world.  This patchwork of events, conversations, opinions, and miracles are forming the way I look at life.  And having this pastiche of a world view is okay with me.

7.  I have made health and exercise a top priority in my life, and I have never felt better.  Since November of 2008, I am down 53 pounds and lots of inches, and that’s not even the best part.  The best part is that I’m less afraid. I’m living life more fully.  If I want to run, I run.  If I want to jump, I jump.  I was in training for a marathon last year, even though I didn’t end up doing it in the end because I got a slew of new jobs.  I ran twelve miles, all the way to the ocean and back.  I felt like hell, but oh my god, I couldn’t believe that my body was capable of doing that.   Since then, I’ve learned so much about exercising and food, that I am on fire for being healthy.

8.   In relation to that, I watched Food Inc., and it really made me think about the food I eat and purchase.  Since then, I have been eating as much fresh and natural food as possible, making the changes I could afford, like switching to organic dairy products, eating less meat, and changing to whole grains.  Not only is this better for my conscious and supportive of those who try to live sustainably, I just feel fantastic.

9.  I finally moved into an apartment that I’m going to stay in for a little while (I moved four times in 2009).  It’s beautiful. It actually feels like home.  One of the walls is red.  There are plants and photographs that I’ve taken all over the place.  I have a little garden.  I have an apron that I cook dinner in almost every night.  I painted a canvas that is now hanging over the bed.  I love having people over for dinner.  Life is good.

10. I began studying with a new voice teacher who has opened my eyes to a great many things, imparting wisdom that perhaps I already knew deep within.  Sometimes you just need validation.  He is helping me to unite my mind, body, and spirit–three areas that I have worked so hard on individually, but have never known how to fully unite.  I feel empowered and free and less afraid.

11. I have also begun taking yoga, partly because my voice teacher is a yoga instructor and we use that in lessons, but also because it reinforces this path of coordinating the mind, body, and spirit.  Learning mindfulness and balance is gluing the puzzle together for me.

12. I have finally gotten myself organized as a business woman!  I made a website, designed and printed business cards, and got my resume together.  This is a major accomplishment.  Check out the new site!

13. My uncle gave me one of his old cameras, which is a major step up from my standard point-and-shoot.  I’ve enjoyed the opportunity to learn how to take pictures that are more like what I see!  I’ll be posting some of those on here.

14. I have become newly inspired as a performer and teacher.  I aim to be uninhibited and honest, no matter what, and help those around me in my audience or in my studio to become more open in their views of the world and themselves.  

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